When you stop practicing.

I have recently been feeling down on myself. I have been nursing a knee that has been feeling a little off since I ran a half marathon a couple weeks ago. I have tried to get out and run a few times since and it just hasn’t happened, and this is what I have realized in the few weeks since I have not been running as often as I would like. Running is my meditation. it is an active meditation but it is a meditation. 

When I am running I “get into the zone” as they say. This is what happens when you get into a meditation practice as well. Do you know this feeling? Your whole existence doesn’t matter all that matters is what is happening in that instant, the next stride, the next step the next mile. The last mile doesn’t matter you can’t change that, you can only change what is currently happening. This is how I have started to try and look at my life. I cannot control what has happened yesterday, it has already passed. I cannot control what is happening tomorrow, it hasn’t happened yet. What I am able to control in fact is very little. I can really only control my actions, and my reactions to the things around me.

Now think about it… You really have so little control over the life you are living. You can’t control your co-worker who might be in a bad mood this morning. He/She could have taken your email the wrong way and now they are really mad at you. Now can you control this, no. But you can control your reactions and your actions. Your boss might take credit for a project or an idea that was all your idea. Now you can’t control that either. Let’s go one step back even from this. Can you control the traffic? Then why are you letting it make you so angry? Can you control the weather? Well, so why are you sad it is a rainy day? 

This applies to so many things, we can either make excuses for the situations that arise around us. Or, we can decide to have an even keel, a stoic reaction to the things around us. I had a football coach in high school who used to always say, “Control, what you can control, and the rest will fall into place.” I always thought that this meant just worry about yourself and it will be fine, but as I have gotten older and learned a little bit more about the universe, I have found that our ego is the hardest thing to control. 

This is why I have been missing my morning runs, when I run I get into the zone, I have a morning moment of zen, and it translates throughout my day to a more mindful day. Without this morning run, I find that I am much more prone to quickly react. This has been very insightful for me, as I have been striving to be more mindful, I have now found my best meditation is not simply sitting, and breathing. My best form of meditation is running, and breathing.